Dear ones

Here’s the next instalment of my blog. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave me a comment if you read it.





Whole Body Orgasms

If you’ve been to a session with me or done any research around Tantra, you will know that I don’t encourage ejaculation also known as a peak orgasm. Of course if it happens in your session it will be celebrated like everything in Tantra.

I teach ejaculatory mastery and how to achieve whole body valley orgasms. This is an extract from my website:

Tantra is not goal orientated. Unlike conventional sex, it’s not all about the orgasm it’s about being present to each moment – so sex becomes a meditation. While orgasms may happen with or without ejaculation, Tantrikas enjoy the sensations at every stage of lovemaking. Avoiding friction in sex means the lingham is more sensitive. Being present, they experience the exquisite feelings of love and intimacy that far surpass the experience of a quick orgasm, depletion, retreat and sleep habit many people get into. And riding on the waves of orgasmic energy throughout the whole body, experiencing peaks and valleys is a much longer lasting and satisfying and often blissful experience. So lovemaking can last for hours.


The benefits of not ejaculating include: juicier sex, stronger libido, increased attraction to your partner, harder erections,  ejaculatory control, longer lasting lovemaking, increased sensitivity in the lingham, achieving deeper types of orgasm that last longer, more aliveness, better mood and less emotional ups and downs, more relaxation, and more creativity.

Tantra gives men ejaculatory choice. You can choose to ejaculate or not but you are encouraged not to for several reasons:


  1. Tantra is not goal orientated. If ejaculation happens I celebrate it because it is a sacred juice with life giving properties, but I don’t make it happen. It’s unfortunate that some sensual massages are masquerading as tantra and confusing people. I offer an authentic tantric experience.


  1. Ejaculation is a peak orgasm. After ejaculation men loose the capacity for energetic and multiple whole body valley orgasms. Experiencing a valley orgasm conserves your life force energy and thereby regenerating your skin and bodily organs and enhancing your physical energy. Most sex happens in the brain and sexual frustration is a feeling that can be changed by choosing to feel full of your life force energy, personal power and in contact with your orgasmic potential.


  1. Men have been conditioned not to cry and to repress their emotions, so it’s no wonder our society is so hung up on sex and most men have an addiction for ejaculation as this is one of the few acceptable ways for men to experience a “release” of emotion or tension. In my sessions we will also look at other ways to experience physical and emotional release so it’s not all about ejaculation. There are other side effects to ejaculation you might even call post orgasm hangover:
  2. Most men feel tired after ejaculation from loosing some of their life force energy.


  1. We have a limited amount of life force energy when we are born and if we waste it on a momentary pleasure we are wasting our sacred life force. It is vital for life and is not recreated in the body and when it’s finished we are dead.


  1. Immediately after ejaculation, serotonin the ‘happy hormones’ dramatically drop, and it takes 17 days for the hormones level to recover. This usually causes irritability, anger and conflict in relationships, and theneedto ejaculate again.


  1. After ejaculation oxytocin, the bonding hormone, drops which explains why sometimes we feel less attraction to our lover soon after sex and want to take some space. Oxytocin levels also take 17 days to recover.


  1. Having regular peak orgasms promotes emotionality and this is one of the withdrawal symptoms of abstaining from ejaculation. Our mood drops and we can have mood swings until our hormones even out again. This can cause problems in relationships, at work and socially, promoting the “need” to ejaculate/peak orgasm again.


The New Tantra also recommends abstinence from peak orgasms in favour of valley orgasms. As it takes 17 days to recover from one ejaculation and 21 days to overcome the ‘addiction’ to have a peak orgasm they have a 21-day-challenge to vastly improve your sex life. See the 5-minute video and get the app: It’s helpful to have the support of an app if you’ve never abstained from peak orgasm before.


As your tantric journey unfolds you become able to practice ejaculatory mastery and choose when to ejaculate and when to retain your semen.


In some instances when practising semen retention men can get“Blue balls”


Symptoms of “Blue balls” are a dull ache in your balls or lower part of your belly and this pain lasts 1-2 hours. It is harmless and will pass. It’s normal and there is a lot of blood flowing into your sexual organs if you are aroused, but your body will reabsorb the semen and over time with practice this will get easier.


Ways of dealing with the discomfort of blue balls:

Get active, work out, dance or do anything that promotes good blood circulation

Take a cold shower or if it’s really bad, use ice carefully. Take care of your balls and never put ice directly on your balls, wrap it in a towel.

If it’s really not working and the pain is too much take a painkiller


Remember even though its nasty, it will pass.



There are a few other ways to promote the potential of a whole body orgasm.

  1. Practise self-pleasuring without ejaculating/peak orgasming, and relaxing the body instead of clenching the genitals and anus, for 28 days. When I first did this, I experienced a smell orgasm walking past a freshy cut cedar hedge with fresh sheen of rain.
  2. Be Un-English and do emotional release daily. When you don’t have any blocks in your body, repressed energy cannot get stuck and stop your life force energy flowing freely. If you’ve been to a session with me, we’ve probably practiced some emotional release techniques. E.g. Screaming into a pillow, Pillow pounding, letting the whole body shake for 15minutes or doing a shaking cathartic dance with music. Most people find this a relief, release, and liberating.
  3. Receive de-armouring – Tension and physical blocks can stop our life force flowing freely causing problems e.g: fear, anxiety, shame, blame, jealousy, possessiveness and more. Previously unprocessed emotions and experiences can be stored anywhere in the body, but the solar plexus and anus store more.
  4. Do what you love as much as possible and have loving sex and orgasm regularly.