Tantra is a Sanskrit word which has a variety of meanings depending on who you read. It may be derived from the verb to weave, or a combination of, to expand and to liberate. My teachers translated it simply as transformation.

Tantra is not a religion but a technique of expanding consciousness, so people can discover their own individual spirituality and see each other as divine beings. It is a spiritual path and lifestyle with a basic philosophy of total self-acceptance and indulgence with awareness.

There are many difference types of Tantra and I practice the Shiva stream of Tantra, which says “yes” to love and sex. It is devotional and feminine and aims to let you experience the Divine in your body in the physical world.

“Tantra teaches you to reclaim respect for the body, love for the body. Tantra teaches you to look at the body as the greatest creation of God. Tantra is the religion of the body. Of course it goes higher, but it never leaves the body; it is grounded there,” says Osho an enlightened Indian mystic.

Tantric Meditation

The primary technique used in Tantra is meditation. Shiva was a Tantric god who  lived about 5,000 years ago in India and developed 112 methods of tantric meditation for enlightenment. On a more mundane level any activity becomes a meditation if we bring our full awareness to it, even walking, washing the dishes, dancing, massage and lovemaking. The secret is to focus and allow ourselves to tune everything about that experience particularly the sensate body – the physical sensations and the emotions, images, connection to spirit. The challenge is to do this without talking to ourselves about the experience, or getting carried away by thoughts and judgments about it, while it is happening, instead of being the experience.



Embrace, Temple Fire Tantra

photography by Nikki Simpson – lightcreations.co.uk


Sex and Heart

In Tantra our sexual life force energy, combined with our heart energy make the experience a spiritual experience, and a vehicle for awakening if you are on a spiritual journey. When sex and love meet in meditation you become divine, and you can start rising in love, elevating yourself into a higher level of consciousness. In this way tantric practitioners can see each other as god and goddess. The archetypal embodiment of the divine feminine and masculine principles.

Sex–never repress it! Never be against it. Rather go deep into it with great clarity, with great love. Go like an explorer…Sex is just the beginning, not the end. But if you miss the beginning you will miss the end also,” says Osho.


Ejaculatory Choice

Directed sexual energy has the power to manifest things that we want in the physical world. This is also known as sex magic. It is very powerful and this is another reason the churches denigrate sexuality. They don’t want us to become too powerful or have a direct personal connection to God.

Tantra is not goal orientated. Unlike conventional sex, it’s not all about the orgasm it’s about being present to each moment – so sex becomes a meditation. While orgasms may happen with or without ejaculation, Tantrikas enjoy the sensations at every stage of lovemaking. Avoiding friction in sex means the lingham is more sensitive. Being present, they experience the exquisite feelings of love and intimacy that far surpass the experience of a quick orgasm, depletion, retreat and sleep habit many people get into. And riding on the waves of orgasmic energy throughout the whole body, experiencing peaks and valleys is a much longer lasting and satisfying and often blissful experience. So lovemaking can last for hours.


The benefits of not ejaculating include: juicier sex, stronger libido, increased attraction to your partner, harder erections,  ejaculatory control, longer lasting lovemaking, increased sensitivity in the lingham, achieving deeper types of orgasm that last longer, more aliveness, better mood and less emotional ups and downs, more relaxation, and more creativity.

Tantra gives men ejaculatory choice. You can choose to ejaculate or not and in my sessions you are encouraged not to for several reasons:


1. Tantra is not goal orientated. If  ejaculation happens I celebrate it because it is a sacred juice with life giving properties, but I don’t make it happen. It’s unfortunate that some sensual massages are masquerading as tantra and confusing people. I offer an authentic tantric experience.


2. Ejaculation is a peak orgasm. After ejaculation men loose the capacity for  energetic and multiple whole body valley orgasms. Experiencing a valley orgasm conserves your life force energy and thereby regenerating your skin and bodily organs and enhancing your physical energy. Most sex happens in the brain and sexual frustration is a feeling that can be changed by choosing to feel full of your life force energy, personal power and in contact with your orgasmic potential.


3. Men have been conditioned not to cry and to repress their emotions, so its no wonder our society is so hung up on sex and most men have an addiction for ejaculation as this is one of the few acceptable ways for men to experience a “release” of emotion or tension. In my sessions we will also look at other ways to experience physical and emotional release so it’s not all about ejaculation. There are other side effects to ejaculation you might even call post orgasm hangover:

4. Most men feel tired after ejaculation from loosing some of their life force energy.


5. We have a limited amount of life force energy when we are born and if we waste it on a momentary pleasure we are wasting our sacred life force. It is vital for life and is not recreated in the body and when it’s finished we are dead.


6. Immediately after ejaculation, serotonin the ‘happy hormones’ dramatically drop, and it takes 17 days for the hormones level to recover. This usually causes irritability, anger and conflict in relationships, and the need to ejaculate again.


7. After ejaculation oxytocin, the bonding hormone, drops which explains why sometimes we feel less attraction to our lover soon after sex and want to take some space. Oxytocin levels also take 17 days to recover.


The New Tantra recommends abstinence from peak orgasms in favour of valley orgasms. As it takes 17 days to recover from one ejaculation and 21 days to overcome the ‘addiction’ to cum they have a 21-day-challenge to vastly improve your sex life. See the 5-minute videoand get the app:



As your tantric journey unfolds you become able to practice ejaculatory mastery and choose when to ejaculate and when to retain your semen.



“Once you understand the ecstasy of sex, you can understand what the mystics have been talking about – a greater orgasm, a cosmic orgasm,” says Osho.